How to Lose a Client in 10 Days

how to lose a client in 10 days

I can’t pretend that I haven’t sat on the couch watching How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.
Sometimes, you just have to be reminded how ridiculously bad your dating/work life COULD be to really appreciate the good days.

We started to wonder what it would take to lose a client in 10 days. Not that we want to, of course. But how crazy do things really have to get before a loyal client says “uh…we don’t think we are going to renew the contract.” Here are a few examples. Don’t try this at home or work.

1. Never Meet Deadlines
Like, ever. And always come up with a ridiculous excuse.

2. Under-deliver
“Oh you wanted 5 logo options? Here are 2 and a half. But they are really awesome.”

3. Get clingy
“why don’t you have projects for us? Do you still like us??”

4. Insist on the original color palette
Because the first option is always the best.

5. Don’t take no for an answer
Everyone loves a pushy salesman with this as his life motto.

6. Use comic sans in the creative brief
Sets the bar really low

7. Make them pay for the coffee
Forget your wallet…in your pocket.

8. Talk really loud on the phone
IT MAKES YOU SOUND SMARTER

9. Ask them how many agencies they’ve contracted with
Because that’s a question that will never have a good answer

10. Always call them the wrong name
“Hi Janet!” He says to Janice

11. Play phone tag for a scheduled meeting
Bonus points for a voicemail that says. “Hey! how are you? Just kidding leave a message!”

12. Bad-mouth other clients
Reassure them that you don’t talk about them to other clients

13. Ignore all critiques
Proof #4 and not a single change has been made

14. Write passive aggressive emails regularly
“First of all, Janet…”

15. Be a bad morning person
Complain during all conversations that happen before 11

16. Send them files from a competing client
Awkward.

17. Complain about them on your Facebook
Posted before or after your drunk selfies at happy hour?

18. Make OBIVOUS spelling errors

19. Keep proposing ridiculous double dates
“You and John should come to board game night at my parent’s!”

20. Leave your Kim Possible text tone on high during meetings
For your convenience: https://youtu.be/qwTso39HEu0

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Social Media Marketing and Boxing

social media marketing
and boxing

“Why are you reading a book about boxing?” My husband asked. He was hoping that I was trying to expand my knowledge of a sport he loves, but alas, I was diving deeper into a passion of my own, social media marketing.
The book Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook by Gary Vaynerchuk compares social media marketing to a boxing match. Organizations have to frequently “jab” their followers with meaningful, engaging content before throwing a “right hook” that prompts their followers to make a purchase or give a donation.

A short description of the book lead to my husband’s next question, “Why are you reading a 4-year-old book about social media?” His question was valid, 4 years is a lifetime in the social media world (I’m talking about you, Myspace!). The tips that Vaynerchuk gives are timeless though.

Here are some of his tips that are still relevant and worth noting:

“A great marketing story is one that sells stuff. It creates an emotion that makes consumers want to do what you ask them to do.”

No matter what platform you are using, storytelling is key. Your story should be told in an authentic way that evokes emotion. Your audience will begin to connect with your story and your brand.

“Different platforms allow you to highlight different aspects of your brand identity.”

Every social media platform is different. The post format, the audience, the algorithm, all different. Every post has to be created specifically for that platform and that audience. Many marketers see this as a challenge, but it should be viewed as an opportunity to start a conversation with many audiences.

“The incredible brand awareness and bottom-line profits achievable through social media marketing require hustle, heart, sincerity, constant engagement, long-term commitment, and most of all, artful and strategic storytelling.”

Yes, social media marketing is hard work, but in the end, it is worth it.

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